phallus impudicous

Pete Doherty - Can't stand me now - 2004 demo

After all the shit about how great the reunion was please take time to remember how good Peter used tobe, how they kicked him out of his own band and on saturday dragged him back to make some money out of him. I saw the Libertines when they loved each other, the on stage banter, the crowd banter, the feeling of togetherness that no other band of thier generation created. I was in tears seeing Peter look so sad, forlorn and betraying his beliefs for others. I wanted him to smash it all up, punch Carl, kick the drums over and reveal the charade for what it was. Of course, all the others say they turned up on time, played tighter than they ever have but the single thing missing was magic. Magic is all I wanted. 'No you got it the wrong way round, you shut me out and blaimed it on the brown. Cornered the boy kicked out at the world, the world kicked back a lot fucking harder.'
However, Peter, I wont forget the time you asked me to put up that student, his french stripper girlfriend, [she was alright and polite] and Spider who drank a litre of vodka, fell asleep on my bed and wet it whilst I huddled under a blanket on the carpet, nor, while we're on the case that dickhead who you suggested I let stay who stole my early Pistols singles.

Crucify me

Is this my karmic punishment?

For having once used drugs must I forever be plagued by drug users?

Please God, deliver me from bloody fools.

Hedge

I pull up outside my house. Hedge is there, asking for God knows what. He's been up all night. Why does everyone know where I live? I go out to bring the shopping in from my car, Hedge is there, Hedge has been up for two nights. Next time I see him I take pity as he has clearly been ripped off, he has agreed to buy a 2nd hand washing machine for£150.I agree to move his washing machine. He's been up for three  days. Amphetamines, remember that drug you spent two years wasting your life on 23 years ago? yes, thats the one. People still do it.

Whilst I am out, he shouts up to our flat window, trying to get my girlfriends attention. When she doesnt want him to bother her he takes offence.He has forged a friendship with her psychotic ex. Each time I see him he tries to draw me in to conversations about the ex. The ex is off my radar. I couldnt give a fuck what, where or how he is. This ex split from my partner some 3 years ago. I had to batter him once for smashing my headlights then spitting in my face. He grassed me up to the coppers. I went up to sort it out. The lad is a dick. I never think about him till Hedge brings him up.

Tex looks like he is going to vomit, I get him downstairs. Hedge is still roaming outside my door. He's been awake 4 days now. He can not grasp why I have no room in my circle of friends left for him. He offered me a cherry. I think to myself, look, there is nothing going on, I'm off to bed, so is everyone else. Innevitably, he will be outside, day 5 tommorrow. I have nothing against him or his insomnia but I am a working man. Life is hard enough without more pressure. How do I attract these types? Why can't they make friends with other aimless people who walk the streets. I hurt no one, I ask for nothing other than my mantra, 'Mind your own buisness shall be the whole of the law.'

Anthony Gormley

The gormless one whos' severe OCD has caused him to make the same sculpture thousands of times seems to be matched by the Guardian saturrday newspaper that always has an article on the countrys most boring artist. This weeks was on his latest work, 'The Shitting Man', made from pylon engineering from a bodycast of the narcisist taking a dump, fiddled with on a computer then made by some proper men. What Skreeworld wants to know is, is this the same piece that he entered for the london olympic bid? Kapours trumpet pipped him to the post.

The Death of Magic

Life can be said to take place in a trifurcation; there is the life we live visible to others evident in the eyes of others, what you make, the images of yourself as seen by others, sometimes picked up on film or camera still, are always shocking; Because of the second life we live, the one we are only party to, my private thoughts, the world seen or experienced from within, no one sees this, no one other than yourself knows this; And the third, the one of magic, the third life we live (or I certainly do) where events outside of my control are under my control through the force of my will, at worst, through my reading of them.
This weekend, I lost the third; my superpower. I saw the flat world of others, those whose sole manipulative abillity on reality is through thier toil, I was reduced to the world of the common man. Tommorrow my powers must return. I am not greedy; only a fool thinks himself a magician at all times, just snippets, the odd angle, the odd view of the mundane through the eye of beauty. If you have this, if you live in more than the bifurcation of reality, you will know what I meen, if not, I can not begin to describe the feeling of loss when its' not there. Try imagine blindness and you are close.

Mark Rowlands - The Philosopher and the Wolf

Libertines reunion gig

I was looking forward to seeing the Libertines reclaim thier crown. The Libertines were ok. The Sex Pistols are the closest to the Libertines, never played well under scrutiny, all thier best gigs were to small crowds, both spawed a generation of bands that cashed in on thier legends, both were done before the public cottoned on. I first saw the Libertines supporting the Pistols at Crystal Palace, I missed the Pistols in thier glory days, was 12 when they split.

Seeing the Libertines tonight felt strange, Carl looked like he'd been doing coke for 3 days, Peter looked like he's given up gear, got a methadone prescription and perhaps a levelling SSRI drug to tame his moods. He had put on a little weight and knew the moves well enough to go through the motions. But the danger has gone. Like when I saw the Pistols they were far more musically proficient than they were back in the day. The windows of cultural opportunity that both enjoyed were open but briefly and seeing them outside of there makes little sense. They are rendered mere bands, though good ones. The magic has gone. Few bands have had that magic, that glamour, that wonder. Elvis was touched with the wand for a while. Perhaps, as dullards tell me, that starlight that shines a halo on a select few is but a myth. I know they just missed ever seeing a band like the Sex Pistols, the Libertines or Elvis during the opening of the magic window and must try to imagine from shadows, journalism and descriptions. Yet trying to explain is like describing any religious experience, be it from drugs, climbing Everest or smaller fry. Everest felt cold and windy. Perhaps it isn't space trips that cause madness or retreat in to religion, just the frustration of trying to explain that which is beyond words. I hope Peter is alright. He looked like he had sold his soul. Barat was an evil man to kick a musician out of his own band, to see money as more important than magic. Yet I live in a world of Barats and know a handful of believers in magic. When I stop believing, please let me kill myself.

One of those days

I hate appointments, birthdays, christmas, arranged parties because my brain chemicals just can't be guarunteed to be right. I have spontanious days of brilliance but putting a date on it is a pure gamble. Today was one. Everything was headed toward today but I woke knowing I didn't have my superpowers. Neither did my team or my band.

Congratulations to Warrington

Leeds were out played today. Warrington played to a plan, each player fulfilled his duties. Mathers three try saving tackles, Hicks hat trick, a well organised defence, a powerful set of forwards and Lee Briers inspired kicking game. Warrington are a small club and no abundance of superstars but organisation and one play maker and a team presenting him with the ball at all crucial times. I am happy for Warrington who have waited many years to enjoy these days of glory. I am particularly happy for Lee Briers who has been a fantastic player throughout his career and deserved todays Lance Todd trophy. I wouldnt back against them for the double.

Leeds never clicked together and a team of brilliant individuals couldn't gel. With Sinfield, Burrows and MaGuire, all capable of leading play can prove an embarrassment of riches. We could argue that having two props out, particularly Peacock, a couple of decisions not going our way but this would be sour grapes. The game wasn't an attractive one for the newcomer, bar Leeds first 5 minutes that showed just why this is The Greatest Game of all, that Warrington played the percentages, Australian style and the champagne rugby Leeds are capable of, seen no where else in team sport just wasn't to be today. Congratulations Warrington, you deserve it.

Tommorrow

I couldnt sleep waiting for tommorrows final so sorry if tonights blogs were a bit shit.
I shall lay my head down now though sleep is unlikely.
Come On Leeds!
For John Holmes
Foe Mick Shoebottom
For Chris Sanderson
For LEEDS

Strachan by The Hitchers

There is a better video but still the best song about football ever recorded. I'm not afootball fan, just a Leeds fan.

They say age doesn't matter

Wisdom. Each time I hear that age doesnt matter I think of folk ten years my junior and what I believed ten years ago and it is clearly crap. I tried to explain something I have only learned these last few years. Say your gang is stuck out overnight, I could gather the firewood, light the fire, hunt the food, cook the dinner and build the shelter. But what would this prove? only my arrogance. Each person needs to feel a sense of purpose. To 'steal' all the jobs would make me no hero. All I would be doing would be depriving others of a sense of purpose and self esteam. An adult would let the others feel involved, if thier fire was worse than yours  then what the fuck? bar your ego. Let them cook a worse meal, let them make a worse shelter. That is the mark of a true adult. This only came to me at late thirties. I like mid thirties people but they have ten yeares less experience than me. Ask them about 25 year olds.

Cup Final Tommorrow

no sleep all week waiting for for this game. If you are a new comer to the sport, abandon all preconceptions about sport and watch Leeds versus Warrington tommorrow on BBC 1 at 2.30. Nothing comes close in sporting excitement.

Libertines play a blinder

In true Libertines style they reoccur when they are out of media focus. A band who are as significant as any could never do it when they needed to for mainstream success and , as always, when the tourists are away played a blinding set at  the Forum. Will they fuck up at Leeds Reading. Always Libs gigs were a high wire act that often went wrong yet for the small handful of devotees who saw them at thier peak they will always rank alongside the Pistols who also always fucked up when the tourists came. Skreeworld loves the Libertines.

Solomon RIP-Church of Skreeworld member falls

30 Year old climber falls to his death from Thai balcony

A devotee of the 'urban expolring' craze who climbed famous landmarks such as the angel of the north and Moortown Water Tower has died after falling from a hotel balconny in thailand.
Jim Smith 30 from middlesborough was found in gardens below his fifth floor room in bankok on monday in as yet unknown circumstances.
Friends suspect that Smith, who was in thailand on buisness, may have slipped while climbing in or out of his window.
Urban Exploration, which involves seeking out unusual buildings to investigate and photograph, has been gaining in popularity over the past decade, despite the inherent risks in navigating often derelict and challenging surroundings.
Posts on the urban explorer website 28 days later hav4e suggested that Smiths death was a tragic accident. One friend said, 'it seems unlikely that Jim would of accidentally fallen.. as  many of you know he had a fairly good head for heights and he was not clumsy. He may have tired to climb out out of his hotel after having some drinks to escape in to town. But we will probably never know.'
Fellow urban explorers shared stories of how they had joined Smith on climbs of the angel of the north in gateshead, Newport bridge in middlesborough and the Temeros sculptures by the tees.
Forum member Skydiver said Smith, known to many as Solomon, climbed despite his fear of heights. He wrote, 'We met two weeks ago and climbed to the shoulders of the angel of the north. He really was an inspirational guy, scared shitless of heights. Yet he climbed that rope with no hesitation at all. We had planned a return trip. I'm sorry we will never get the chance to do that Climb high sol. You'll be missed'
Family members from 'Boro and his employer have flown to thailand. Cleveland police were informed yesterday morning of the sudden death abroad of a 30 year old 'Boro man who had been on buisness.

This is a huge loss to the Church of Skreeworld and as yet we are too grief stricken to talk

Jim was well loved and our thoughts are with his family and friends..

Hawkwind - Psi Power

I took Tex out for a walk to see the demolition of Singers Gnoll. Took a few pics but none worth showing. Bumped into Si so this is for him. You wouldnt leave your wallet on the table if you went for a piss but he has an honesty few none thieves have. We were both checking out what scrap was worth chorrying. A glint in each others eyes as we saw each others silhouettes in the rain. We have had our ups and downs, me grabbing him by the throat and pinning him to the wall. Another time he came at me with a knife. But I trust him more than most. If he saw you getting a kicking, he'd jump in, I would for him. Can't help but like the man. In this town of two faced middle class dupes it is good to know a man that you know where you stand with. Just for you, Si, you're an honest, straight up thief. If only emotion was money and money emotion, you would be a rich man. Sadly, society here prizes property over love.

Crow Decay

If you thought that cat, mouse, slug was bad. Autumn is on its' way. All the photos of birth, life, the sparrowhawk series, the butterflies. The seasonal turn to trees dropping leaf, animals dieing, winter on the way.

Rainy Day

Brutal hangover and a rainy day reminded me of that sunday afternoon feeling as a child, little to do, bored in prescious time. School Tommorrow.

David Bailey Sculpture+

is at the pangolin gallery, london N1, 8th september till 16th october. From his interviews I love the bloke, an image maker he describes himself as and he is supremely good at it. His 'truth tourettes', an endearing trait. Cockneys aren't so different from Yorkshire men when it comes to describing a spade. He never went to art school, it sometimes seems to me that the very best artists never do, his school record was too bad. When any artist changes direction you expect a long learning period. Damien Hirst had become a master of his old way of working but is just beginning to learn how to paint, it takes a while. Bailey, however, though his sculpture maybe a little derivative of Picasso, is really good. It has a tribal, primitive feel. A hint of voodoo pervades. As is usually the case, the show catalogue writing is very poor and detracts from the work. There is a hell of a story here. His jelly bean cast of his old friend Warhol, splurging out of a baked bean tin is forgiveable in the artworld who knew who hierarchy, the self referential in crowd conversation that can be so annoying to all but those in the crowd. Great Art should reach further than your immediate friends, a joke all your mates get should be within the skill of any socialite and dropping in a piece like that is as crass as name dropping in conversation. On the bright side , Bailey is good enough without having to resort to such tactics. The Voodoo works do work. Sadly, the submission of a dolphins skull, beautiful and fascinating though it may be is the presentation of a natural history ready made. Duchamp does Hirst with a touch of last years Turner Prize show whale skull. Looked a little like Bailey didn't have quite enough pieces for a show. As I say, he's a great bloke but this is a bit like Hirsts blue paintings of last year. The early, naive footsteps in to a world they are permitted entry to through skill in another field.

Summer goes so fucking quick

Butterflies are dropping off now, a couple of whites and the od Speckled Wood. Some magnificent Dragonflies still out though and tons of fruit falling to the floor as the supermarket folk spend money on mush for thier blender smoothies.

Cat Sick Mouse Slug

Not to be viewed near meals.

RL cup final - the tension builds

Tuesday and McClennan , Leeds coach, up against perhaps the greatest all time Leeds coach Tony Smith who has now turned Warrington in to a killing machine, has still not revealed his backline for saturdays showdown. Ablett, Lauitiiti, Kirke and Clarkson are all fit. Clarkson was not a first team player at the beginning of the season and still works as a builder for his father, Last tuesday saw  him working on a small porch and recent times have seen most of his building work on smaller jobs, extensions, conservatories, patios. Clarkson will stop bricklaying alltogether at the end of the year to focus full time on the Greatest Game of All.

Who let the pigs out?

After a good days work I set off for a walk with Tex and my rifle to have an evening shoot. The pigs had escaped! I am a city boy and after a half hour of trying to coerse them home with sticks, they just wandered all over, wanting thier bellies tickled. Thankfully Mag returned to save the day though they had taken a good load of pumpkins and spuds. It was a metaphor for the day. After internet abuse from Amanda Trout and road rage from a middle aged woman it dawned on me the moon was full and hormones are running high.

Spannered

Jack Attack 2

At a local supermarket, even after our initial CD smashing session, the store was still selling this Jackson filth. As you can see we sorted things out. Children were being exposed to this filth. We stand proud and strong to prevent PAEDOGHEDDON

Pumkinhead Escapes

Police Helicopter

Working away on objects for clients we were spotted by this Police helicopter that sat overhead, its telescopic sites set on trying to get a clue of our artwork. Was it Hirst, Kapour, Gormley? we know not. Thier hunger for ideas and the degree they will go to to get a glimpse of where our work is currently at shows an admirrable degree of endeavour. They may see the work in progress but the sad attempts at catching up leave us saddened. If you are interested just come round.

Old Furniture Magazine

A fella came to the studio today with a stack of old Furniture magazines. I was shocked to see this piece from an old mag from 1999 with an article about some twat. I had long forgotten this one, the work s ok but what the fuck this Wainwright character was on about God only knows.

1999 Magazine Feature

Part 2 , if you can be arsed flipping it and reading the daft shite I was spouting back then.

Art - Brian Grifiths

This is, of course a Skreework.

Batenburg Cake made of bricks for the 4th Trafalger square plinth is in the shortlist. Clearly a work inspired by the work of the artist Michael Wainwright it should raise the bar after Gormley ran scared and abandoned the plinth to any passing human, a clear admission of his loss of ideas. We all bite cake however Griffiths derivative work is clear plaguerism. The work looks good but why isn't Michael Wainwright on the shortlist. Get the real man in, not some mimic. Fear of an Art too powerful for open public consumption can be the sole reason. Vehicles would crash, pedsetrians freeze in awe. Wainwright for next 4th plinth work.

Swedish child sailor makes start at record attempt

Sonja Svinkl, aged 2 and 3 months is believed to be the youngest female to sail round the world single handed. Australian 16 year old Jessica Watson thought she was clever till Dutch Laura Dekker, 14 years old set off. Now two years and three months old Svinkl has launched her two mast ketch with a beam of 12ft 6 in. The boat was bought from funds she earned working as a model in Pampers adverts. The 38 ft 'Yuppy' , a Jeannean Gin Fizz will make its' first stop in Madiera. Hopefully the intrepid toddler will be able to record her trip and is using no support ships or radio help. The childs father, a sailor himself said, 'She grew up around boats and, as far as I can understand her, is very wise and impatient to get started, changing her own nappies in rough seas may prove a problem but I feel sure she has a good chance,'

Rugby League

It is going to be a tense week in the build up to the televised cup final between cupholders Warrington and Grand Final Champions Leeds RL.  Keith Seniors return to Wembley will be an emotional one. He was in the Sheffield Eagles team, an experiment in trying to take the Greatest Game to South Yorkshire and was in the team that beat Wigan who at the time had 'owned' the cup for the best part of a decade. Regarded by many as the greatet sporting upset of all time, John Kear steared his team to victory. Sheffield Eadles were the brainchild of Gary and Kath Hetherington, Kath now at Hull, Gary at Leeds. When Hull met Leeds in our last final Hull pulled off a fine victory they still talk of to this day. Since Leeds last heald the cup aloft 11 years ago we have failed in 3 finals, focusing on our last three years as Champions at Grand Final level, an unprescedented achievement in post superleague rugby. Warrington as cup holders must be regarded as equals to Leeds 3 champiuonships.The tension this week will be unbareable.

Skreeworld grafitti corrected and reinstated

We take pride in our work and after the distracting block underneath being taken away, he work is back and proud and a great piece of grafitti. It wasn't easy.

Skreeworld grafitti corrected

Skreeworld

Lieing in the gutter

Looking down the drain

BADCOX

Tinsel Pipes

We were welcomed by decorative aluminion antler like sculpiures, a sure invitation to this art exhibiyion. The edges had been left raw to add to the industrial appeal.

First picture after scaling the fence

You could hear it hum its pride.

Pylon 2

Electricity sub station main pylon side view. I like it as a flat 2d inage. Beautiful.

Pylon

A beautiful mess of lines slashing the sky, This was the picture I slashed my arms, hands and legs, crawling through undergrowth, over razor wire and risked arrest for so I hope you appreciate it. I t takes a while to digest so drink a can, eat a sandwhich or smoke a bifter and just gaze. We work hard for you.

Electrical Saturday 1

You Can't find ways in or out

Leeds Rhinos 32 vs St Helens 28

Sincere apologies for Johnathon Davies commentary but don't let that put you off this amazing game. Magnanimously hally for Cunningham to score in his last cup game. Realistically this could have gone either way, only Danny Maguires magic and Sinfields magical captaincy has shown Leeds are the greatest game of the era in the greatest sport of all. I won't post again till next saturday, the day of the final but I hope any new comers to the game can see that this transcends all other team sportn my a mile. Can't wait for saturday.

Lauaki vs Burrow!

We are LEEDS

Game Over

Hunger

Leeds RL 52 Castleford 6

Wire won too

Next saturday we fight it out for the Challenge Cup

The Grand Final Winners versus the cup holders

We are two props down so may lack a little muscle and with Briers they have a legendery playmaker. However, Leeds are the most adventurous, creative team of recent years. Sinfield, a true history book loose forward, Danny Maguire, a man who can do what no other man can and Burrow, another force of creativity for the power players to feed off. We are truly witnessing a team that rarely occurs in sport. In these tight games anything can happen. The electricity can leave a team standing and see a sea of points go past them or gel and a group consciousness click to something of beauty seen in no other sport. I won't make a call for fear of jinxing things but anyone with a taste for any kind of beauty, power or creative beauty should be glued to the telly next saturday  to watch this game. Football never provides this excitement, Rugby Union is just crap to watch. Even if you have no ninterest in sport I implore you to watch this. Sadly tickets are all sold out. Come On Leeds!

Friday

I got so little work done this week. Monday I got in late. Tuesday I went to see what the woodworkers are up to, just to keep abreast, I hardly see thier stuff prefering Art or Design shows. Little to see but a nice day out. Wednesday half day, thursday got a full one in but went off to see where the travellers new place is. Lovely evenimng. I wanted to stay. Thier lives may be short but they see each new shoot of spring, all astral sky at night, feel the rain, have skin touched by the sun. There may be politics, arguements, money problems, crug problems. But they see more than any 9 to fiver before they go. I wanted to stay and often think of shrugging off this world and heading off in to the wind.

Saw the Brothers today for a lunchtime pint. So much to say, so little time. I got an idea of how they live. I would love to show them my world yet feel it may scare or confuse them.

I was going to kill a chicken but am leaving it till tommorrow, be fresh for Sunday lunch, thanks Mag.

Charlie

That sin. That one thing I live for. That betrayal born of innocence. That hunger.That magnetic force that seldom occurs but when it does , nothing else matters. That doomed journey. That which makes life worth living. That stupid, mindless abandonment to nature.
There is no spirituality
there is no other world
there is only that singular magic that lights your sky and I can only look up
The melting wax
and fall of plumage
the sun I fly toward for those moments when you are beautiful
not what I write, or draw, or make
Just you
just someone to see you as you are
that is as good as it gets

Madonna Holiday

It would be so nice

Site Shite

You could write a superb blog on the traveller site comings and goings here. Sex, drugs, fights, site politics, a whole world few know much about. The new site is massive with three distinct areas. I am but a visitor and to tell thier tail would cause all sorts of problems. I could do it with pseudonyms but it is thier world, thier privacy. Had a wonderful evening I would have loved to have stayed to talk to Charlie more but I can not reveal this suff. A fantastic part of my life I must keep stumm on.

The Sideboard Song by Chas 'N' Dave.

Chas And Dave Gertcha

Drug Addicts

In earlier postings Skreeworld has commented on our dislike of La Strada cafe in Frome. You couldn't get a real breakfast and a mug of tea, no, just a croissant! History has shown that you can't fight the Nazis on a croissant and a cup of coffee for breakfast. Here we come to the point. This shop is openly selling coffee. The 'junkies' carry the filth away in disposable card cups, some even have the ordasity to, not just sit inside doing thier drugs but hang out on the pavement, openly getting high. These 'caffed' up monsters just don't care about anyone trying to go about thier daily buisness, they block cheap street, off thier heads on the filth and block normal folk from getting through. The building is painted a morbid and deathly black and, as I' sure you know, La Strada is european for street, deriving from the transylvanian word La Satanstrada, the street of evil, the street of pure unadulterated filth is the literal translation. If you see anyone you know sat there, dragged in to the evilcult, briskly walk by, do not make eye contact and restrict any communication to a physical kick or punch if one of the 'caffed' up caf addicts tries to talk. The drug causes stress, extreme paranoia, insomnia, sexual perversion, degeneracy followed by a gradual yet swift desent in to death where the soul of the 'cafhead' is tortured for eternity by a series of progressively more malavolent Demons, each bringing more creative and fiendish tools forged of rusted iron and all the bone that was stolen from the slugs way back at the begginning of creation, and that is one fuck of a lot of bone. After this period of eternal torment, the 'cafhead' or La Strada user will be offered the choice, to reincarnate as the stool or dropping of a stray dog in central Kabul or the chance option. The chance option has many possible outcomes but one that turns up more often than the 42 ball in the national lottery is the Slug Ocean. The Slug Ocean is infinite and makes our Atlantic and Pacific mere ponds. Here in the Slug Ocean, each slug will seek to infiltrate you in all manners for the theft of thier bone that you had been tortured with in the first eternal stage of 'CafHell'.
So be wary, stick to tea and the Market Cross.

Skreeworld War on Guilt

Since Skreeworlds decision to wage war against an emotion, somethuing long considered impossible until the genii Bush and Blair went to war against terror or being scared, a noble just and Christian war, no one wants to be scared so , together they murdered man, woman and child in some of the worlds poorest countries. Hang on, thats' wrong somehow, sorry, they were evil tyrants who spread terror. Never mind, the point is they permitted the concept of waging war on an emotion and here at Skreeworld we often feel guilty about something. In fact just the other day I opened the door, being a gentleman to an angry seperatist feminist who lambasted me for sexism, 'I can open my own doors, thank you!' she informed me. I already knew that and wanted toexplain the cultural upbringing I had had, even indoctrination, to put women and children first, but it was too late. She was gone. Since then a sense of low level guilt has been clouding my days. I just can't shake it off. Each morning I wake feeling guilty about something. So the war on guilt goes on.

Raoul Moat on Cutting Edge

I found it disgraceful that Moats family were critisized for casting his ashes at the site of his murder which was also where he and his brother played as children. Why do you think so many support Moat? Have you thought, just for a second of the 1000 police murders since 1969, my first 2 serious meetings with the police, aged 15 both involved strip searches, lift your testicles, spread your cheeks as the copper put on plastic gloves and stuck his index finger up my arse. My crime? potential posession of cannabis for personal consumption. Neither time did I have anything. My sole conviction, I had just turned 16 was for posession of a pipe. The Police are evil, murdering, sex paedo bastards and anyone who shoots one is making the world a better place. Yes, there may be the odd 'good' cop but I have yet to meet one. Moat murdered a guy, he shot a woman, he blinded a copper and he was publicly executed for this. Please leave his family in peace to grieve. After I was stripped and fingered up the arse I no longer trust these scum. The logical reaction is to want to blow one away. That is why the public like Moat. He did what a normal person would.

It's Brendan Behan night on Skreeworld Blog

Borstal Boy

Brendan. Love always

The Auld Triangle

Brendan Behan, RIP

brendan behan-fighting words part 1

Cones

Chaos. Skreeworld has had a number of problems latley. Location is a consideration. The realisation that living in the extended holiday that is the South West has been a constricting noose of insubstantiality, ephemera. The motivation to make furniture has receded to the extent that setting foot in the workshop is not only alien but pointless. An army of idiots are my sole communicants. Time and obligation to finish work I have promised to make is all that is left. I have seen the openings and I am poised to jump.

I reckon we should take Craig out

Ideal is back

Ideal Series 4: Psycho Paul - BBC Three

Ideal is back. The Fucking Best

Deggsy and the complexities of raccism

Working away with Degsy I recall 2 great stories that define the curious fellow.  A proud white Bradfordian. We were down souh, Portsmouth I think. After a bellyfull of beer we  headed for an Indian meal. Admittedly, the fare was an 'English' curry and most Bradfordians know Indian and Pakistani quisine. On completion Deggsy came out with the classic line, 'I can't wat to get home, have a proper curry, made by real Yorkshire pakis, none of your foriegn muck.'

Another site a strict foreman who saw Degs weaing trainers. He walked over, hoping to impress in his boots and stamped on Degsys' foot shouting ,'wheres your steel toecaps?'.
Deggs stepped forward, looked him in the eye, a moments tense silence then brutally headbutted the bridge of his nose, blood poured down his face. 'Where is your fucking hardhat boss?'

Drainspotting

Ace new Hepworth spotted in the grounds of a posh school in Cheltenham.

Cheltenham furniture show review

I travelled up to Cheltenham to see this years show today. Jez Broun and me filmed a chat interview, like the review show on BBC2 for the Fufniture Today DVD series.
Whilst I can still remember I thought it moving to see Alan Peters last piece finishedby the equally unassuming Andrew Lawton who has been making beautifully proportioned furniture for a number of years now. His work, whilst never ground breaking, is always excellent, measured and well considered. Makes you wonder why so many try redesigning the wheel rather than learning proportion.
In the Chair competition only Jez Brouns tilt rocker rinvented the chair,the rest were ugly. And why didn't Magnus Scholefield submit his , it would have won.
Roland Taggs Swirl drawers pair were tender , delicate and fascinating. Innovative without losing sight of beauty.
Barnaby Scott stole the show for me, his fumed oak sideboard with mitre edged doors, sculpted sides and a vulnerable revealed corner detail could stand anywhere and transfix. Even amongst the chaos of Cheltenham. His table with a crop cicle like detail that cut in to the solid at the edges was only spoiled by an underframe that deserved a piece of it's own. Both great.
Dereck Elliot.......er...pass
Martin Galaghers Gareth nealesque Ardu was a showstopper, maple,brass, glass, one of my favourites.
Luke Harding radial side table very good.
MacMaster coffee table had a great form but why spoil it with Rosewood, heavily grained timbers always distract from curves.
Nikolas Kary console table in ash, great piece and Paul Cases Spyder suff had incredible jointing and were graciously undersung.

Finally, it is admirable what Jason is doing with the show, looks better for fewer pieces and so glad the dragon lady is gone. Norbury hurt many people with her bullying and took craft furniture down a cul de sac. Cheltenham can now rise again.

Furniture Rage

I am a furniture maker by trade though in no way would I define myself through this lens. I feel angered tonight. I have a website michaelwainwright.co.uk that shows my work. It is an old website. I have never before checked out other furniture makers websites but did for the first time tonight. Makers are setting up, looking at others sites then creating thier own based on the best they see. A tragedy is in the offing. To look sideways and do your best to fit in with them as a good site within thier parameters is missing the whole point. My site may be crap, it may look dated but it is unique. No one does work like mine. The new trend is to fit in to this authodoxy. I have tried to explain the folly of this follow the leader attitude but I see an awful resume of indisinguishable makers. Why am I angry? I am becoming an elder. They are all the fucking same. There is nothing there. For fucks sake, what have we become? You may make a buisness but you sure as shit havn't contributed one iota to material culture.Wanting to be part of something has destroyed all the instigators worked for. The way I feel tonight is like packing the whole game in. Don't any of you have something new to offer? Sorry, but you are fucking destroying what many spent thier best years creating.

The Mark E Smith Guide to Writing Guide

Conspiracy Prayer part 1

This was first spotted by C who saw it alongside the prayers that are left daily at St Johns church to be prayed for on sunday. A few days later this note written by someone with the imagination of Philip K Dick. As yet we don't know the writer nor thier state of mental health though they may well have read of Skreeworlds discover that Frome is a construct, a none place, a communal halucination.

Conspiracy prayer part 2

Please zoom in and read, I couldn't be arsed typing this out.

War on Guilt

The picture is of he holding pen by St Johns church where condemned men spent thier last days before public hanging.

Skreeworld, having seen the War on Drugs and the War on Terror, wars against innanimate substances and emotions have now launched our own War on emotion. We've gone for a war on guilt as we always feel guilty about something. We are hoping to get the smaller suerpowers to join us, the public schoolboy buggery Alliance currently in power in Britain, well, its not great and certainly not a 'united' kingdom, and Barack Obamas America have been approached to see if they will join us. Afterall, they both have plenty to feel guilty about. Join us in our War on Guilt. Just act and think about it later, free of all guilt, absolved of all responsibillity.

Afghanistan

Skreeworld would like to say that, regardless of our feelings behind the reasons for the war in Afghanistan we are proud of or boys who daily risk thier lives to ensure that all the junkies back home aren't rattleing. Yes, next time you have a boot or a dig, think for a moment of those brave young lads ensuring a steady supply of heroin to these shores. The Al Quaida have all but gone so this can be the sole reason for our being there. Watch 'Ourdrugs war', c4 tommorrow 8pm, unless of course you are waching Phil rattle.

Proof of false Frome

Since our realisation that Asda doesnt exist we have further news on the none existence of Frome. This picture shows the false reality that is Frome. The construct created to fool people is nearly complete and you have to have a sharp eye to spot the gaps. The paper 'Somerset Standard' headlines with 'Boy had bike borrowed without asking!', or 'Plant pot kicked over in mindless ac!'. All is not how it seems however. Behind cardboard stonelook facade the picture shows we are clearly still in a disguised Leeds.

Phil Mitchells' Crack Habit

Here at Skreeworld we have little time for TV and havn't watched Eastenders since Nick Cottons heroin habit back in 1991. It has come to our attention that the prince of the east end gangster family, Phil Mitchell has become a crack addict. Scenes of his withdrawall are amongst the funniest TV moments of all time. Anyone who knows thier drugs knows that physiological dependence can happen with heroin, and it looks like this s what he has been buying. Not to say crack isn't bad but this is truly hillarious. Writers clearly spent no time on research other than to dig ot the old Grange Hill Zammo scripts. Ace stuff.

Leeds and Saints

Well after last weeks glorious cup tie it came as no surprise that St Helens came out fighting. As a Leeds fan I can't help but respect our equallity though we won the last 3 grand finals they all could have gone either way. Fantastic battles. Saints 60 bradford 12
Castleford 6 Leeds 38, amazing, I thought Leeds may take the foot off the gas, looks like we are going for the double. Sadly Hull beat Crusaders in the last minutes 18 16. Respect to a;ll teams.

Skreeworld fan grafitti

It has come to our attention that a noble artist and fan of Skreeworld has creatively decorated ugly parts of Somerset village Frome. Sadly a black clad gang, responsible for serious crime too abundant to mention though the murder of Ian Tomlinson in London during political protests he was unconnected with is perhaps thier most serious publicised recent crime have kidnapped and blackmailed £1200 out of artists in the same area. Skreeworld are currently raising funds to reimburse the young street artists. Any more of this bullying of creative individuals must be stopped. Skreeworld spokesman stated, 'tackling these blackclad thugs that bully graffiti artists can be challenging as it is often done under the cover of darkness and in areas which are often quiet at night. However, we put a robust plan in place to reimburse the prolific graffiti artist and make these filth face up to there actions, If any individuals are creatively showing support for the work of Skreeworld, we applaud your endeavour but warn you of these thugs in black that seldom travel alone and are continually on the lookout for trouble, they are responsible for over 1000 murders since 1969'.

Perseid meteor shower

Best for years. Tonight peak night. Just seen 15 shooting stars. Crescent moon has set and the sky is clear. Get your coat on, get your drug of choice, get out where the streetlights don't reach, lie on your back and enjoy. I;ve just popped back for my Bourbon and a coat. Nights like this are rare.

Philip Kindred Dick

Perhaps PKDs most concise description of his 'visitation 2-3-74' was written a year later on march 21st

I speak of The Restorer of What Was Lost
the Mender of What Was Broken

March 16, 1974 ; It appeared- in vivid fire, with shining colours and balanced patterns and released me from every thrall, inner and outer

March 18, 1974; from inside me, looked out and saw the world did not compute, that I and it had been lied to. It denied the reality, and power, and authenticity of the world, saying 'This can not exist; it can not exist.'

March 20, 1974 It siezed me entirely, lifting me from the limitations of the space-time matrix; it mastered me as, at the same time, I knew that the world around me was cardboard, a fake. Though its' power of perception I saw what really existed, and through its power of no-thought decision, I acted to free myself. It took on in battle, as a champion of all human spirits in thrall, every evil, every iron imprisoning thing.  [....]

Richard Hawley - Coles Corner (Original Version) (Video)

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - The Curse of Millhaven (Live) High Quality

Sun Flower

A pretty one to start the day.

Cig butts 2

Badgers at Bath grave

Badgers have dug in to a Bath graveyard. They have dug up human bones. I am not at liberty to say where but we have no skull as yet.

It's still not cricket

Cheltenham Furniture Show

Cheltenham is here again a show I have often been in. Foolishly, I would exhibit art which was always misread as furniture due to how the work was made.

Jez spoke of a lack of innovation, it isn't this that troubles me, essentially most who become designer makers are conservative by nature. Furniture making in wood is a deeply traditional proccess with a long history and this depth is what often attracts practitioners. At it's worst you see pieces desperately trying to be something new within tight parameters of materials, proportion and established aesthetics. These can end up as lumpen, distorted beasts, requestioning possibilities long rejected by earlier generations like square wheels. Whilst the truly innovative expands possibility, many don't have that sort of mind. Beauty and proportion take second seat to the cult of the individual.

I no longer know where the young makers are coming from. Many of the colleges from my day have closed the courses in design and craftsmanship combined. I believe those who seek to innovate are a different class to those in search of beauty or meening. Those developing from a trade background are likely to be more conservative in thier take on beauty. Cheltenham is the most traditional of all the shows.

My fear is not that I see little innovation but rather that I see little beauty. This new generation aren't looking outside of furniture for inspiration. Where Fred Baier looked to industrial machinery and computers for an aesthetic and John Makepeace to nature, the new lot  are looking to previous designer makers. This has led to a style of furniture. A homogenisation whereby, though it is difficult to recognise a maker by thier work, it is possible to buy a 'designer maker' table in Scotland much the same as one you could buy in Cornwall or Surrey.

Much of this has resulted from the makers of the 1970s and 80s getting teachng jobs in the colleges. RCA was the first to see the times were changing and Ron Arads change of staff triggered a new wave. This new wave has been replaced by a urther new wave. The designer maker movement happened two generations ago. My own work that uses furniture making techniques to make art has been misread more times than I care to recall. One piece I made had car park markings with a disabled sign, a no go cross hatch zone and double yellow lines that ran round the top and down one leg in boxwood inlay. I used a generic table form as a painter would use a rectangular frame to help the viewer see where the art began and reality ended, to avoid confusion. An old RCA lecturer dismissed the piece focusing on the form, we have moved beyond form and into narrative, the piece went clear over his head. Applying 1970s form and colour based rules to work about story, narrative and meening is like reading a book backwards, like criticizing Grayson Perry for making conventionally shaped pots and not looking at the surface decoration. His day had clearly gone and this is why he no longer has relevance as a lecturer at the RCA.

What is left of the movement is a handful of the old guard, desperately stumbling on and an ocean of mimics. The new will not be found in this field.

My position in the whole mess is one of chance. I was never interested in furniture or woodwork at school. I have always been an artist. This has surfaced in my drawing, my painting, writing and sculpture. By 21 I was sick of the dole, sick of artspeak so to get by trained as a joiner.  found myself more suited to bench work than site. This led to furniture which is my job. The good fortune of this was it gave me a pallet from which to paint ideas. My art now uses furniture making techniques, photography, writing. I remain uninterested in furniture, well no more than any other objects. The relationship is one of pure chance.

The designer maker is 99 times out of 100 from a posh or upper middle class background. The concept occurs as trade to the working class. I studied at 2 colleges, at the first one the course leader suggested we could easily start a buisness by working for family and freinds for 2 years, the other course leader stated that we may not all become stars but he could see us returning to our communities as village craftsmen. Thier middle class ignorance is sweet but no friend or family member of mine at the time, even if they were in work could afford this stuff.

So I say, shoot the lot of them.

The Oldest House in Britain

Not much info so far but it comes as no surprise that in Yorkshire, near Scarborough the oldest house in Britain has been found. Archeologists are currently working out why Yorkshire folk were civilised 6000 years before southerners. I imagine that in 6000 years time, southern scientists will be beginning to grasp our vastly advanced civilisation. This would account for why followers of  the prehistoricly primitive sport of Rugby Union still fails to grasp League. It would be equally difficult for us northeners to imagine what life will be like 6000 years from now. The evolutionary gap is likely to persist.

Designer Makers

Furniture designer makers seem lost