Not Slept for Three Nights now

what is keeping me from oblivion. Why won't my mind stop working.normally I sleep so well. It is my one salvation. Yesterday I began my eBay career in earnest. To complete the desk I am making I have all materials. I have the money to insure the van, if not to fix its windscreen wiper arm. I need workshop rent and payment for the carver who has quoted me £100 per metre of edge moulding. I m sure I remember him saying he charged £40 a metre for moulding. Perhaps a desk top edge provides a tougher challenge and my design is not led by the shape of the tools as, say, egg and dart is. So, in an effort to raise the near thousand pounds to finish the desk I am putting up what little of value I have to sell on eBay. My bike is going. I dearly loved it and the buyer is one of the modern day hagglemen. Are we not English? When I say a price I add nothing on, give an honest quote yet the current climate sees bartering like we were in Morocco. As if it is assumed I have inflated the price for this miserly irritant to try to correct. Quite how it has come to this I don't know. I'm supposed to get paid for making furniture yet I'm having to sell off my valuables to pay to make it.
I'll try close my eyes again. Oblivion, I beg you, please take me.

Christmas Death

This time of year is, for some the loneliest, as families turn their collective backs to society and revel in their good fortune, forget the community and focus on their own. Midges death was forecast by doctors over a decade ago but they hadn't figured on the Fire in her belly. She'd always been fighting, through a care home culture riddled with abuse. Spells in jail. Both her two great loves were stolen from her prematurely. The first in a motorbike crash, the second took his own life. And she drank to contain this poisonous hand she'd been dealt.
My partner was chucked out of home at fifteen. Lived on the streets, sleeping rough. Travellers took her under their wing and taught her how to survive. Sadly their scene became drug poisoned so in steed Midge, 15 years her elder and taught her a new morality that made her who she now is. A surrogatearent where the birth mother had kicked her fragile body from the nest.
The graduates of care homes die young, high jail rates, high prostitution. For many years homes were havens for paedophile networks. Despite all this Midge shone brightly. A gypsy length life. Crammed with colour and adventure.
I cried for her tonight.

Midge RIP

After having two years to live generously predicted by doctors for a dozen years now, Midge finally left us today. Still in shock.

AL-LAD illegal 07/01/2015

Without any media coverage AL-LAD becomes illegal on January 7th 2015. No public discussion in to the values of this amazing substance have taken place. No reports of any harm caused by it. No youth craze, just an interest of a tiny minority of experienced psychonauts. The synthesis of AL-LAD requires LSD and delivers only one fifth in quantity of the base ergoloids were untouched. Once it becomes as illegal as LSD I doubt anyone will bother refining the LSD to AL-LAD. It will be lost to history and the odd curious chemists private endeavour.
It is difficult to describe how it's effects differ from acid though they are similar. AL-LAD delivers a euphoria and has little of the anxiety that characterises LSD and mushrooms. This anxiety spoils most trips. Not that they are bad trips just that one is reluctant to let go and abandon oneself to the journey. For me, it is an improvement on acid.
The biggest operation in british police history was operation Julie. Staff from a dozen regional forces, 800 officers worked together to close down two LSD laboratories in 1977. The protagonists were not ordinary criminals interested in money. They were idealists who believed their product could bring about transcendent experiences in its users. Albert Hoffman synthesised LSD within months of the creation of the first atom bomb. The history of LSD is of intellectual idealists trying to spread understanding with evangelical zeal. There have been occasional cases of permanent mental breakdown. These invariably occur when fragile psyches take the drug in a bad setting. The police know of vast paedophile networks. Huge heroin supply lines. Yet they have yet to apply their full force to bare on these criminals as they did on LSD production.
One has to ask why? Is it that transcendence scares the establishment more than child suffering? More than the deaths and wrecked lives heroin delivers.
I have up tripping in my early twenties until I found AL-LAD. It cured my depression. For a brief window the Rays of the infinite shone through the clouds. 15 days remain to study this valuable commodity before the door shuts forever. Truly tragic news.

Underfoot

Dawn and Dusk

The Green

Petrol and Ice

Woodwork

Morning Walks