Table for designer

Here is a table, one of maybe 20 I made to the same design. At first glance the untrained eye might see a sturdy oak kitchen table. But the designer's eye will see not just style or look but will understand why a 'look' evolves. Take the Barnsley hay rake tables in the library at petersfield. The structure is the three dimensional diagram of the different structural forces that come to bare on a table. My reimagined version in Ash for the modern day, well 23 years ago but in terms of this sort of furniture a decade or two is not a long part of its life. They are tables built to last millennia. But here we see a none structure. A poor structure. A drunken oaf at Christmas dinner, full of port and turkey might slam his feet down on the stretcher frame. And try imagine, if you're not a good designer and can't see it yet. Imagine three siblings just below puberty, hiding alongside each other, hidden under the table and all bouncing at once. Even more simply imagine glueing it up. I won't name the designer but he is well regarded and is often seen in interior design magazines and Sunday supplements. And of course from the moment he showed me the drawings I told him what I thought. I tried to explain to him that there is a reason why things look the way they do. To adopt the style severed like a head from it's body, to dismiss structure as though it were a trivial matter for the consideration of the tradesman. And of course class comes in to play. While I may know how to design furniture the fact I know how to make it too becomes of great use to the middle class dandy. I've lived a life seeing these characters. They are much like the different versions of doctor who. They're a little bit eccentric. A little bit wild. Perhaps long hair, a beard or brightly coloured clothing. They are able to speak the language of the wealthy. Able to deliver a flamboyant performance with an air of confidence. To play the part of a visionary; a special man. And the client wants this more than anything. The theatrical manner and the use of language that draws the client into thier vision because, let's face it the clients have even less. To confidently say that this magnificent table is available for even less than you are paying for your mass produced car. This bespoke wonder that comes from the designers educated and intuitive genius, from a very special person, the like of which you are seldom fortunate enough to come across, this bespoke, hand crafted play on traditional themes yet with a comedic subtlety of touch that is the pure epitome of the arrows tip of style, an arrow that you too could be aboard during the commissioning process. Such a special man.
I actually like the guy who designed this series of tables of which I made about 20. And I can't do what he does. I am always agnostic. I'm not sure of anything. I know I can be wrong and I don't have the confidence to tell a client otherwise. I'm humble. I don't wear strange clothes, drive a vintage car or affect idiosyncrasies I don't naturally have. I don't know how to talk to people of certain classes. I try but it's easier to not.
So there you go. If you get to be a competent maker but lack the social skills, no it's deeper, lack the conceit to believe you are right when experts tell you that you are wrong, then you will end up making pieces for these performers, these charlatans, these snake oil salesmen. And it will be their names in the books and magazines.
So there you go. A crap table frame design I perfected making for a well known designer whose work graces the homes of many a wealthy John who only had weekends to find out what really special objects are about.