Back when Jim could fix it

I sparkled as a star

And Little Rock and rollers

Palmed the windows of my car

Tears of desperation

They hungered for me so much

I'd wipe away the perspiration

Ask "do you wanna touch"

The luckiest girls filled the dressing room

Each night after we played

Soon to feel my rock and roll

So Sweet and easily slayed

Now alone in Belmarsh jail

Stardust drizzles my cell

Tinsel plugs the drafty gaps

Cockroaches share my hell

Spangled dreams of children

The lucky ones who earned my love

Ingrates groomed to turn against me

I love you love me love

And if I should escape this dungeon

There is no place for me

No escape to Cambodia

No escape to Vietnam

If only Jim was still around

To share the girls our glam

To really fix it up for me

The leader of the gang

And on the VP wing where I am still a legend

I collected all the tinsel and shiny twine

The left overs from Christmas

And platted up a makeshift rope

An inverted umbilical line

And in the wee small hours

When even perverts sleep

I'll loop it round my neck and bunk frame

Stand atop the final stage my chair

From here a small gap permits a window

Where I can see pinprick's of starlight

I kick the chair away and the noose tightens

Not a single note can I sing

But death just won't accept me swiftly

Like when Guido lept

Like when Turpin jumped to snap off their light

Instead I wriggle as the tinsel digs deeper

I wake with screws around me

Irritated by my self pity

The Leader won't be free just yet

May still sing one more ditty

'Remember Me This Way'

Or 'Do You Wanna Touch'

And once again I here the fans all chant

My favourite song from all my work

'I would if I could but I can't'

Sent from my iPhone

15 the July 2024

We've had this lad staying. His identity is built upon his on and off life of a new age traveler. I left the scene shortly before he joined and I ve had brief returns over the years. I left just as the green new age thing was coming to a end and the puritans ethnic was breaking open to rave culture and the growth of a nihilistic outlook where tranps and beggars came together with the shift from cannabis, lsd, mushrooms that provided a DIY shamanism. These new travellers, aligned with road protesters and the drugs took on firstly an alcoholism of cheap cider and the now iconic special brew giving its name to a wild sub genre of the movement; the brew crew. Given that the government were implementing their Criminal Justice Bill arguably the new Agee travellers needed some protection or at least a harder edge. The moralistic originals were starting to slip off to Ireland, Portugal and Spain for an easier life. By now most had children and few parents wanted to see their kids grow up like that.

The lad who stayed for a few days has only a rudimentary understanding of his cultural history and has been a heroin addict for the 23 odd years I've known him for. He aspires to a. paganism and so I showed him one of a group of lives I had made for friends during winter solstice. All the wood came from Pilton and the blades were holly, the handles in oak with three black walnut rivets. I explained their sacred mature, their imbued power. He knew golly was white but when I tried to explain where the word Druid came from he looked blank and ignorant. I explained that Dru means oak and Id is Latin for knowledge I further explained that Druid means the knowledge of the oak. Holly is the holy word and that these knives had been made on sacred ground using sacred material. What disgusted me was that surely Druid must be in the first term of hippy school but he didn't even know that. Further he had no yearning to learn.

He's lost. Far more than I am.

Sent from my iPhone

14th July 2024

I have felt more despairing states, deeper depressions but I don't think that I have ever felt this lost, spent so long bereft of any purpose or sense of self worth. Of course this isn't the only measure of happiness. I've enjoyed comical years where together with freinds we've chuckled away in shared absurdity at life. I was a designer maker of furniture and this once gave me purpose. I look after my partner who has a terminal illness. I have a dog. But once they are gone I really don't know what I will do. I'm going to try to attempt a journal to see if it might help. But tonight I am very low indeed.

Sent from my iPhone

The Libertines - Night Of The Hunter

https://youtu.be/3Z5_Hq8uvio?si=8kiPBWQjznBSaghe

Sent from my iPhone

Paintwork (Remastered)

https://youtu.be/3okaBjf9_B4?si=CPHpOaSF3yihbLG6

Sent from my iPhone

New Recording 2 Spain 2 England 1

Bloodvein