14th July 2024

I have felt more despairing states, deeper depressions but I don't think that I have ever felt this lost, spent so long bereft of any purpose or sense of self worth. Of course this isn't the only measure of happiness. I've enjoyed comical years where together with freinds we've chuckled away in shared absurdity at life. I was a designer maker of furniture and this once gave me purpose. I look after my partner who has a terminal illness. I have a dog. But once they are gone I really don't know what I will do. I'm going to try to attempt a journal to see if it might help. But tonight I am very low indeed.

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