What a strange day. Wind and rain came as a refreshing injection of…

What a strange day. Wind and rain came as a refreshing injection of life after the immensity of this years heatwave. Muddy headed the morning dog walks saw the house martins and swallows, who've already had a two brood season for many, bursting out during each dry window. A sparrow hawk flitted through the village. Invisible to most.

I've had a secretive and quiet two years. Recovering and domestically focused. Now undergoing a sort of rebirth.

Leeds Rhinos struggled to a first victory in the middle eights. Retaining super league status will be tough for the changing team. Only managed one game this season. The close loss to castleford at Elland Road as the emerald stadiums rebuild forced them out to south Leeds. Then a second win for Bielsa's Leeds United away at Derby. So far they look amazing in this early season.

• Later saw three old acquaintances . One a one time close friend. All looked ill from drugs. Many of that generation are finding their bodies are closing down.
• Largely making things for other people so can't post pictures. A twelve side bar. Heavy oak doors in frames for a building being expensively renovated. And working with my fine assistant to create a new place to work from. Hopefully anyway. Went to Freds, who I once worked for, for a meal with Gareth, partner and new baby. Lucy's art fantastically illuminated their beautiful garden. I love them all.
• I hope soon to illustrate my new phase yet remain somewhat wary of the internet. It's no place to be when you're head is stretched.
• My close partners father lies sedated. Complications as he recovers from heart surgery.
• My father died earlier this year. His end game played out over the beast from the East's snow. I miss him and asking his opinions. Our time here is short. I question our mission here. To obsessively make has been my marker of wellness. Proof of potency. Yet we must take time to see. To be. To feel. And watch the seasons. Head down to the bench for many years I missed a lot. Trying this time to find balance.
  

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