Covid 19

It has been some since last writing. Having gone through some changes due to difficult times I became humbled and felt to comment on anything would be some kind of arrogance. My practice changed. Due to mental illness I closed down my furniture business, sold off my kit and stepped away from my past.

Two years followed where I walked a lot. With my dog. These walks were not missions or projects as they once were. Not looking at cooling towers, abandoned industrial architecture, water towers etc. My walking had been akin to mindfulness meditation. My aim being simply to be. The biggest love of my life, far beyond furniture or the spiritual quests for hidden underground empires is where we live. The wildlife. The woods and fields, the rivers and valley's. the birds, mammals, insects etc. And my love for this is hard to capture on camera. Nor is it something I feel able to share. I hope others find it but rather like it is with god for religious folk it can only come from within. On my best days when I am out in the woods and fields I am at my best. There is no need to report back. No reason to be on some artistic mission. At life's best it is enough simply to be. If there is a secret of life, or a reason for life I can only think it is this. It is to be. It is to look. It is to see, to hear, to smell to taste. To feel. To love. All else is side show. And once you have this peace it can be hard to find a reason to do more. To show off through designing and making furniture for exhibition is indeed a self satisfying experience. To do ones best. To create ones finest ideas for submission to the cognoscenti for their judgement and hopefully their approval.

This became a meaningless game for me. Invariably I would feel negative emotions. Arrogance in successful moments and unhappiness when it went badly. Subjecting myself to this became to feel a stupid way to spend my time.

Feeling mentally and spiritually unwell I took time out. Now I have returned to work. Making furniture that other people want. Not to please my taste. Just to keep my hand in. This has been a period of mental and spiritual recovery. Like a boxer. Like Tyson Fury going into camp. Beginning 10 stone over weight, with serious mental health issues, with drink and drug habits many would call addiction. Fury inspired me.

But my training has been making furniture to others designs. Indeed within that there are always design decisions. Design and making are one thing really. Impossible to say where one ends and the other begins. I've worked hard. I've always been prolific. Always done it habitually.

I'd become ready to have another stab at doing my own stuff again. Despite substance issues and mental health problems I'd still stood my ground. Now largely free of them I might produce some things of real value.

Then the Coronavirus struck. I'm unable to go into the workshop. Most of closest people, those I depend on and truly love, are smack in the target zone of this terrible illness. Many through age and also I've seldom hung around the straight laced. Having always preferred the company of the outsider. Now those who have lived as travellers spending nights beneath the stars round wood fires, those who smoked herbs and concoctions that expanded the parameters of the human condition, those who chose tougher lives and those who endured rough lives through no fault of their own. Now all of my tribe are at risk. Hence I'm being super careful and am off work despite the relatively low amount of human traffic through my place of work.

We have yet to see how this all plays out. As young as 16 I felt sure that the planets greatest problem was human overpopulation. We are animals and like all animals subject to natural laws. Any species that becomes overpopulated finds natural factors will quickly reduce their number. Be it an increase in predators, food shortages or disease. With humans it was always clear it would be disease.

And we have had warnings. These viruses invariably come from our mistreatment of animals. We have had so many warnings to slow down, breed less, operate sustainably, respect the only material resource we have, our environment. But few listened. So here we go. I hope everyone reading this and everyone they love remains safe. And I hope it goes some way to creating a more caring world.

Sent from my iPhone