Saturday 11th June

The sun has been shining for a few weeks now and as Glastonbury festival gets closer I can't help but think that the skies will open on all the revellers. I'm usually there, working in some capacity as a way to get a free ticket. Not this year though. I've not been offered a job there and maybe it's for the best. Claire, my partner just wouldn't be up to it. Last year we were there saw our job requiring us to break a path through the intoxicated crowd for Norman cook, fat boy slim to make his exit in a large four wheeled vehicle with tinted glass hiding his identity. Claire managed but it tired her out. She pushed herself beyond what her body was capable of. I knew then if I were to work there I'd be on my own. Cook was a lovely guy as was his assistant who treated all as equal. I couldn't go without Claire so that's me done with the Pilton pop festival for a while.

Her spirit is up on the whole however she has moments of panic. We need to get through the tests before we know for sure. Due to her earlier life as a drug user she has no veins near her surface and the hospital had arranged for a cannula blood test prior to her X-ray, also due to being unable to have a colonoscopy due to sexual trauma she had endured in earlier life. This kindly arranged practice was missed as she got the appointment time wrong. Frustrating but we have to live with it. Hopefully we can rearrange without too much problem. This is all supposed to have taken place within two weeks of her initial doctors appointment that began the journey of her cancer.

Tonight I'm at mine again alone this time as Bentley wanted to stay with her. I had a few pipes earlier and a few goes on a DMT vapo. What a genius piece of technology. I've heard rumour there is an al lad vape. Imagine that, the greatest of all hallucinogens in a vape. Last week I enjoyed a great trip on what I was told was super fresh acid. It was powerful but controllable as I had to collect Claire after an aborted mission to stay at her parents. Once home again I was able to relax my mind and the might of LSD descended upon me.

There are a lot of unknowns ahead. All I know is we must enjoy every day as we don't know how many we have.

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