How does it end?

Mostly we lie in different rooms now. For five days and nights I stayed in the same bed with her as it seemed to provide her with some comfort. I try to stay asleep or at least to appear asleep for as long as possible. Ultimately the dog starts frisking around. Scratching and yelping at the slightest noise. Telling me it's time to get up. So I do and we go out. He's become aggressive. When the three of us are behaving normally he behaves well. If she is ill he pushes the boundaries a bit further to see how secure the system on which he depends is. Then if I get ill too he pushes further. It feels like I'm holding it all up and that if I break we all do. Then we come back. I feed him. I make us tea. I try to get her to eat but she doesn't want to often. But I have to get her to drink and to keep up her blood sugar. She is constantly moaning and wailing. This is only broken up when she has a bout of coughing which causes her to urinate a bit and I try to keep things clean. I watch films on YouTube. Listen to audiobooks. Sometimes I can read when she can cope with the light. The constant wailing means she is always in my consciousness. She needs my constant attention. But I need a break so go try read. Between the coughing and wailing she will shout questions. She seldom knows what time it is. Never what day. There is no break. No moment to myself. I try to get her to the chemist and manage to by driving. A doctors appointment is missed as despite my attempts to get her to go she says she feels too poorly. She drifts in and out of delirium and becomes angry when I try to tell her she has something wrong. The doctors appointment is rescheduled for tomorrow. I've not been able to get out of her what time it is at. Tomorrow morning I will ring and find out. Then I'll try to get her there. I ask her what exactly is her main concern but she can't say. And lying here now I continue to listen to her cough and moan and wail. I feel selfish for wanting to know when I get some time. I know only that things won't get better. Maybe for a while but the direction is one way. I'm tired. But I know what I'm going through is not as bad as what she is going through.

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