Saturday, 4 October 2014

An incredible night

I'd done a few AL-LADs, getting to know the drug and its peculiarities. It is perhaps more specific than LSD but , I believe an improvement. You are overcome with a reassurance and warmth that almost welcomes you in. LSD is impartial, you try your luck.
One is easily sufficient to have brief moments of breaking through or goal visual hallucinations in warm spirals of colour. One means you are able to communicate, if essential to straight heads. I took this about nine pm then took another an hour or so in.
Here things stepped up. I entered a different universe, equally detailed as our own. A life form, a number of them met me. They are dispassionate, not unnecessary cruel and not overly interested on the whole. Once your eyes close fractal patterns and the usual psychedelic mundania. Open them and you are still with them suggesting they have substance just like us. At one point I asked if I would be able to see them in the future, not on drugs and they showed me how to look to check. You may think I am mad but these things I speak are real.
I took a third around mid night. I tried to make sense of my iPad but space documentaries spoilt my precious hours here so I abandoned the technology along with my phone. My soul brother Dean had done a parallel trip and it felt like I could have reached out and heald his hand.
it'd and spent hours exploring these new lands. I could bring myself to reality for toilet or tea making but that would be about my limit.
At 3am I knew it was just three hours till I take Dook out so I took another to keep the trip going. Around five I had tried my partners patience despite my best efforts to tip toe about. Another alert consciousness on a house can be enough to deny the relaxation necessary for sleep.
Five am mission begins. I dressed in black cammos, pockets full of survival tricks. Dook and me in the pitch black in a complete hallucinatory new reality. Total dark, the half moon had set. After crossing the parks streets began to look alike but Dook led the way, Past the old redundant police station, nipped across broadfield and past the old post office up elm lane and then out into the open fields that look over the mendips. By now, In total darkness I was lost in hallucination and had to trust to Dook who knows our routes now for me it was a different universe, never mind trying to follow routes. I just let him lead. Trust your dog. They see and are aware of a lot of things we know nothing of and a surprise growl at someone you thought quite benign often proves a better judge of character than we are. You can't lie to a dog. Tell him the hats still new and he sees through the bullshit.because that is all we are. The stories we tell ourselves, the personalities we all wear so as to get through the social Argie bargie are largely bullshit. Most never have to face this or address this unless they succumb to an addiction, to drugs or sweets or overeating then throwing it all back up in the ladies.
We somehow crossed the first two fields, still pitch black, still peaking on five AL-LADs. Once o found the gate I felt familiar ground and we walked down to the majestic horse chestnut. This tree has saved my life this year. I have hugged her so hard, begging for her help earlier in the year, around my suicide trial/attempt. She stands there ind you just soak up the calm.
This is a very special magic we have found. I can't imagine how I could have wanted to die. And then this came along. I was once told by some new Agee I was 'spiritually retarded'. I wore this with pride and advanced an impossibly simplistic materialism. I mean we have begun to see the neuroscience of love, we measure emotion as, if you are a materialist love must be some electrochemical wurrings in your gears. I dreamed we may begin to.grasp how matter can think and feel and even question its own existence. All from natures biological miracle.
We left the tree and stumbled further out in to the dark. I wanted to keep to routes and paths Dook knew because in the darkness and me seeing all manner of beautiful oriental interiors. English ones too from days when perhaps dwellings had stood and a few lingering memories had broken back the centuries. Simple folk too, tradesmen, locksmiths, carpenters , my own field.
There is an intimacy that is personall to the individual where touch takes place. Where matter, Earth, clay, stone or wood hits the skin, when we hold and feel the texture. No one else ever sees that. It is yours alone. My instinct is to touch and engage with the qualities of whatever place I find myself. Perhaps because it is part of the other story of our lives. The version only we know. Not the outsider looking in. Biography.
Do not try this at home. I am a trained and seasoned outdoor guy and an expert on hallucinogenic drugs. Always let people know where you are and what you have taken, just in case the worst occurs.
The sneaky back entrance in to Vallis is easily missed if you don't know your way. It's still pitch black, we ate now entering the undergrowth of woodland the path quite invisible so I let Dook lead. Through tunnels of darkened woodland suddenly I walked straight in to a steel post. An experience a bit lick being hit on the head with a hammer. Dook got us to the bridge where each day in daylight we climb a few rock steps. It was at this point I realised we had not been alone since entering the woods. A presence who shone a light to help us at our most crucial moments.
It was hear I began to hear the screech owls calling from one side of the valley, calling out to the tawny owls classic owl noises. Having found the river the owl chorus was comforting and recquisitly beautiful in its raw tooth and claw animal purity the sky began to deliver a little light then a sudden rain came in so we stepped on.
Trip reports are usually dull a situs like dancing about architecture. Little can be captured with mere words.
Rambo style now, pouring rain, barest glimmer of daylight we passed a guy who I see most mornings. We always say something but are words are true. We are the only two who go through Vallis all the way regardless.of conditions and this inspires a mutual respect. I assume he is armuRx special forces perhaps. This morning even he was.surprised to see me and Dook emerging from valis tunnel of darkness.
Light comes over fairly rapidly so only the very kean dog walkers were out. Three hours we had done. Fifteen miles at a guess. Dook.got us through that one. Half elf, half unicorn, half something else, he really. Is a creature to admire and behold it is an honour I have been given to be chosen to be his human.
When we got back to town I was still hallucinating madly yet it was controllable. If I had to state the key difference between LSD an AL-Lad which is synthesised from LSD it.would be this. With AL-LAD you have the steering wheel, with LSD your are on a runaway train which is exciting in your teens. But I'm a half century..
What ought I do with this incredible gift?  I am not special or alone in being aware but this is serious business. This maybe your life from other worlds.Only a selfish man wouldn't want to share. But a warning. This is serious. If you just want to get smashed I suggest you look elsewhere.
Sleep calls no.
Love to all

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