Psychiatrist. Loony Test.

Psychiatrist. Loony Test.
Having been referred to the mental health team I missed all six appointments. Finally I can avoid them no more. Today I go in at 2pm. As yet science has no clue as to how the grey mass in the skull creates consciousness. Only in recent decades has acceptance of consciousness being biological. The prevalent technology of the day dictates the metaphor through which we discuss mental processes. A century back the machine metaphor dominated, today the computational theory of mind dominates. Awkward details like emotion tend to be brushed aside, focusing on cognition. Scanning technologies such as PET and FMRi reveal a view akin to that from an aeroplane. They see activity but offer no insight in to mental illness. The biology of schizophrenia is as unknown as the biology of consciousness. Having no material evidence to prove mental illness psychiatrists rely on asking the patient. Further, it is often said, if you think you might be mad you definitely aren't. Only by acting weird whilst thinking you're acting normal can you qualify for diagnosis. Conditions like manic depression, schizophrenia etc having no observable quality can only be diagnosed by recognising symptoms. The cause still unknown, therefore can not be cured. The symptoms, however, can be blocked to a degree. The language of physical disease is employed, yet, having no material aspect, the terminology can only operate as a metaphor. Schizophrenia and bi polar are not diseases like cancer where a tumour confirms the category. These diagnoses instead are allocated when a patient shows a given number of a list of symptoms. Hearing voices, delusions, hallucinations etc when evident in sufficient number help the psychiatrist to 'diagnose', yet, again 'diagnosis' is just a metaphor. A guess would be a more accurate description. With this vacuity of material evidence a fake branch of medicine, a specialism as close to superstition as science. A profession of experts with full training system and doctoral qualification has grown and continues, unquestioned and respected with equal reverence as we give orthopaedic surgeons. .
"On a scale of 1 to 20, how would you describe your current mental state?" It's a tricky one. Colour wise the deep plum shades to a far lighter lilac, this back drop is detailed with kaleidoscopic patterns of lights that cover all colours, as a shape I'd say a vast tube with parabolic sides, narrowing at the waist before flaring out like a trombone at its peak, the very top is lost in cloud today, as a bird I'd have to go mistake thrush, in terms of smell there's a rich musty underbelly that carries the delicate inter play of fruit wood smoke, Apple to pear, down in to cherry before reaching up into plum. As a number, though, I really can't say. 1 shows pathetic self pity but 20 places you within radio 1 dj category.
From here diagnostics can begin. The conservatives have had real problems with benefit fraudsters who aren't as mad as they claim. Before standing on the scales they check your pockets for stones and other weights. The needle flits through odd, peculiar, strange, weirdo, nutter, mad man, nut job (London area only), loony, schizo, total loony and finally really fucking mental. Each diagnosis sets the relative benefits the nutter will get. The recent conservative problem has put pressure on professionals. Last time the psychiatrist crossed his arms and challenged me, "go on then. Do something mental," tricky. Batter the smug cunt and you maybe in broadmore for good, blow a mere raspberry and you'll be sent to work. Pitching the appropriate lunacy is awkward. Today I'm considering describing the mystical experience I enjoyed this spring. The greatest moment of my entire life. The clearest view of reality I've ever experienced. I'll continue this piece when I get back.

Had an enjoyable chat but the shrink got tired after a while. She needs another session but was pleased to confirm I'm definitely a head case but as yet, it would be unprofessional of her to say if I'm full on radio rental or just a nutter.


Sent from my iPad