Todays meeting went well. Good turn out. Looks like if you're not in soon there'll be no room. A guy came to describe the concept of a makers cooperative and what that entails. The objective is to have ten or twelve businesses under one roof. All wood based but ranging from timber frame building to fine furniture. We aim to make it the finest temple of woodworking excellence. Each member is equal but our vision appears to be a coo on one. Reduce overheads. Bulk buying materials. Running paid fine furniture courses. Apprentices of the coop spending time with the differing businesses learning broad sets of skills. The wood craft colleges are dieing. Fine craft furniture is the preserve of the rich but due to educational and training funding changes, only the wealthy can now aspire to the craft.
We aim to have a top range machine shop. Employ a machinist and maintainer. Employ an accountant. Each business space will be seperated off. There will also be hot bench spaces for those, outside of the core membership, with a project to do. Colleges I attended never had the benefit of real businesses running alongside, students witnessing great pieces being made.
Monday 23 February 2015
Midge RIP
After several false deaths Midge finally passed away on Sunday morning. For me this brought some relief as her suffering was over. Now all is psychotic. I'm returning to campervan life and being single. With Dook.
Sunday 22 February 2015
Saturday 21 February 2015
Monday 9 February 2015
Weirdly mild AL -LAD trip
K came over. Desperate for some help in coping with this current madness I'd called, inviting him, folk can abuse their partners, or those closest, when times are tough. As emotional punchbag I needed respite, a visitor certain to warm Cs heart and give me some much needed rest. Yesterday in our garbled conversation hed mis gathered that my partner was dieing, not her closest, but her. Joyous to find her alive, though dispirited in our seemingly never ending death vigil. The trelief was palpable as this wire uncrossed. Beautiful spring day. Took c and K to get their personal poisons. Then dropped two AL -LAD, K just one. Gear renders MDMa pointless. I loved MDMa but once I had it after becoming a habitual brown smoker, it worked but never had any magic. It was time by then. Two years of e weekenders had left me fried and the brown panacea entered my life to soothe my fried brain. Here's not the time to tell how big a mistake that was, that still affects me 20 odd years later. Gear seems to spoil the Lad too. I never had such a mild night on lad. Perhaps the gear in another could sullen my magic. Trips often depend equally on set and setting as they do on product quality.
We headed for the fields as the sunset. Made a woodland campfire and sat around, talking, pratting about, letting the three dogs go wild. The early trip sensations began yet failed to blossom, never developed. After a few hours by the fire we came home. Me and K are all about exploring woodland, finding a good spot, and lighting a fire. This is where we are at home. Once home, Here mine kicked in inspiring a stupid facebook interplay with a girl I'd like to understand. K finished off any magic with a pin,and C,after badgering around for W, settled for that same dull shit.
Tripped out amongst smack heads. This is no accurate picture of my life, just today. An oddity of a day. I know most of the towns smack heads from old, but we pass, chat, but don't visit each other. Common ground lost. Sadly, I always felt at home, u njudged, amongst fellow broken biscuits. They're as broad a bunch as any. Many very bright, with other interests and specialisms. But always the unifying priority, above all others, which must be sorted before other matters can be attended to. Six hours, rarely longer, usually shorter, and whatever task is underway is abandoned to refuel.
I may have salvaged some of the magic. Wasted sacrament is a terrible and disrespectful thing. I frown upon it, even if on occassion, freindship, loyalty etc trump it.
I entered into some internet attempt at communication. Nearly upset someone whose approval I would want. Fortunately I think I pulled it round. I am fascinated. Enough to change life patterns.
So, a poor night for the lad unless his magic was fed through to the person I speak of. To raise the magic and it not achieve anything really would be knew. I'm hoping it tied us tonight. Halucinogens have often been the seed of my most unusual relationships. Powerful magic must find an outlet.
Later, unable to sleep, I realised I had only had 2mg subutex yet felt passable. I am getting there. 4mg tomorrow, if I can endure it. 10mg to 4mg in less than a fortnight is great. This focus I need may be virtual. Maybe pure projection, but only human love is of high enough value to inspire a target.
We headed for the fields as the sunset. Made a woodland campfire and sat around, talking, pratting about, letting the three dogs go wild. The early trip sensations began yet failed to blossom, never developed. After a few hours by the fire we came home. Me and K are all about exploring woodland, finding a good spot, and lighting a fire. This is where we are at home. Once home, Here mine kicked in inspiring a stupid facebook interplay with a girl I'd like to understand. K finished off any magic with a pin,and C,after badgering around for W, settled for that same dull shit.
Tripped out amongst smack heads. This is no accurate picture of my life, just today. An oddity of a day. I know most of the towns smack heads from old, but we pass, chat, but don't visit each other. Common ground lost. Sadly, I always felt at home, u njudged, amongst fellow broken biscuits. They're as broad a bunch as any. Many very bright, with other interests and specialisms. But always the unifying priority, above all others, which must be sorted before other matters can be attended to. Six hours, rarely longer, usually shorter, and whatever task is underway is abandoned to refuel.
I may have salvaged some of the magic. Wasted sacrament is a terrible and disrespectful thing. I frown upon it, even if on occassion, freindship, loyalty etc trump it.
I entered into some internet attempt at communication. Nearly upset someone whose approval I would want. Fortunately I think I pulled it round. I am fascinated. Enough to change life patterns.
So, a poor night for the lad unless his magic was fed through to the person I speak of. To raise the magic and it not achieve anything really would be knew. I'm hoping it tied us tonight. Halucinogens have often been the seed of my most unusual relationships. Powerful magic must find an outlet.
Later, unable to sleep, I realised I had only had 2mg subutex yet felt passable. I am getting there. 4mg tomorrow, if I can endure it. 10mg to 4mg in less than a fortnight is great. This focus I need may be virtual. Maybe pure projection, but only human love is of high enough value to inspire a target.
Sunday 8 February 2015
Desk Update
Last week I laid the leather top with help from Mag and Sonja. Prior to embarking, having stretched the leather over a number of days, I rang Fred for a final little advice. You get but the one chance so no mistakes can happen. As I wandered, Phone at ear I turned to see Dook with one of Mags best cockerels in his jaw. Leaping over I booted him and he released the shocked but live bird. Feathers floated down as I told the poor fella off. I thought, well, think he is learning. Tex would sit happily by the chickens yet should a pheasant land, assuming safety in chicken cover, he would immediately go for the kill. Its not pleasant and obviously not neighbourly having a dog killing Mags birds, but he accepted it, took it in his stride. Its hard for Dook. Tex used to stalk mice along the fields edge, a few chomps then swallow. He took out a single squirrell who found himself far from trees and on the grass Tex swept him up, snapping the poor rodents neck with a nonchalant flick. Dook is by far the wilder of the two. Mistreated, a rescue dog, a work in process. On his first day he took out a squirrel, his speed and manouverability are a class apart from Tex. Yet for raw strength Tex would have beaten dook. He would choose six inch diameter, six foot logs, and carry them easily. Dook only two thirds the size but far less strong is blessed with dexterity and grace.
My promise to walk him five miles each morning has been broken. But the park isn't enough so I retook my vows and these last two days have ensured his peace through working him hard. So many get sled dogs as they look cool not realising you need to tire them fully if you want peace. They are basic dogs, not far from wolves. In so many ways he is my superior but if I cant walk him a simple five miles each morning I don't deserve him. His bond now, to me, is too strong to sever and I must step back up.
Times have been hard. Midge lies dieing, three weeks ago she was placed on the Liverpool pathway and given 72 hours to live. We accommodated this expectation yet days pass and my partners strength and bravery have been imeasureable. They say soldiers in Iraq etc who faced IEDs were always sent home damaged. Often a soldiers tour would complete without seeing one. But maintaining the adrenalin preparation, knowing it could be any moment, this leads to PTSD. If something happens we can act but this waiting has gnawed away at us. Sapping our moral. Sleeping and eating become functional only and difficult to do. We have both lost over a stone in three weeks. In my fantasies of being a real man, I take the van, drive to Inverness and carry out an act of love I hope someone will give me should I be left as she is now. Racked with pain, unable to form words yet they are clearly ready in a mind that the body wont work for. I prayed she would die last night, to deliver Claire from this vigil of utter horror. Her brother too, at her side, waiting so pointlessly for death to conclude this ludicrous, religion inspired respect for life at any cost. Any human doctor would turn up the morphine tap. Finish her with what shreds of dignity remain.
Claire has enough money to get there again once. This was to be for her funeral. However, Midge will be the only one not attending so, I respect her decision to share her last hours of life.
Utter hell. Claire, poor brave darling, has slipped from sanity on occasion. Any normal human would. Please God, if you exist you are one evil bastard. Stop this torture or I swear I will kick your head to pulp if I ever meet you.
Dookus at Vallis
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Yesterday, Dook, the Mighty marched in to Vallis and conquered the entireVallis nation. Slaughtering his way systematically through their champions before killing all underlings. Their womenfolk and children fled to hide in caves yet, such was the fire in Dook, he sought all out in his greatest rampage to date. This morning we rose at dawn to certify the completion of this ethnic cleansing. He did not think it too many.
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