Update

I've not written anything for my blog for a few years now. Retreating into photography of the moths that appear in the stairwell of the flats where I live. My brother is an expert on moths and butterflies and works for Butterfly Conservation and helps me with identification when I can't find them in my books on the subject. I toyed with getting into trapping to see how many more I could find. But the original project was a tight brief. To understand properly the natural history of the stairwell of the flats. We face directly onto fields and woodland where an abundance of natural wildflower meadows allow for a great diversity and being social housing the lighting stays on most of the time. I'm blessed with a natural moth trap.

But lately changes in my life have brought a lot to try to negotiate. I'm not making furniture very much anymore. Instead caring for my partner.

Three years ago she was diagnosed with emphysema and it's very serious. She was told that she was chosen for a new treatment of lung reduction. A serious operation where the worst affected areas are snipped and sealed off. She had all the preliminary tests and was being lined up to have this operation which could have offered a real increase in her life expectancy.

Sadly in the last year or so she has lost three stone without any diet or exercise change. She has other symptoms such as a lump on her throat. Also a recent stool test revealed blood that can indicate bowel cancer. In fact all her symptoms suggest cancer. So the Royal Brompton hospital who are the lung specialists have put her lung treatment on hold until this cancer scare can be eliminated .

So until we know what is wrong with her she is so very scared. I'm terrified too. My mother died of cancer and it wasn't much fun at all.

So given her days are likely numbered I've chosen to put my furniture making to the side.

I love her very much. We are quite an insulator couple. She is fortunate to a number of old friends who don't judge her. I've always detested the idea that people are responsible for their illnesses. Yes she smoked as much of our generation did but never heavily. She is my life. I don't know what I'd do without her I'd like to go with her .

I will write more on this subject as things develop. It's going to be a strange journey.

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