Having had my soul ripped apart these last few months I find myself rebuilding a new life. For years I had quietly mourned the life I thought I would never have. My breakdown has given me new hope. Now I will write those books.
Looking through my CDs the other day I found plenty that I can not remember buying. Reding old pages from my blog I honestly can't remember writing. There are vast chunks of the last 3 or 4 years that I have missed. Virtually the entirty of this blog was written whilst I knew what I was doing. I was ashamed for a while, ashamed of things I have said. I still am but I have to accept that I was seriously ill. I am not yet fully well but I can now see at least how bad I was.
Around the time Richard died I lost it. Richard was my closest freind, the one constant in my life from 18 to now. After he died the year following has but slender shards of memory. I'm still trying to work out what happened myself.
I also saw some postings I made on a woodworkers forum that feel the words of an alien. Why didn't anyone tell me I was off my mind?
I for one miss your postings to the DMOU, they were thought provoking and often stirred otherwise rather staid and reserved crafts people. The forum is a shadow of it's former existence without your input.
ReplyDeleteChris