Wierd Tom

When I was a student, my second time around, in High Wycombe, I lived for a while with Wierd Tom. He was a strange but interesting lad. One day he had a garden party and bought some Pymms, the fluid of the posh, loads of fresh fruit with it. Afterwards we ate. He cooked so I agreed to wash up which I was quite happy with. I mentioned I would rather cook than wash up, cookin can be very creative when washing up seldom is. He launched in to a speech that referenced Budhism saying that the washer up is as important as the chef. This opitomised the public school boy to me. The attitude that can see another slave for them whilst retaining a clean conscience. Britiains oversees policies are clearly he work of this class. The 'benevolence' of colonianism is still fondly remembered by the ruling class. David Cameron said something along the lines of not being ashamed of our history. There would still be slaves if he had his way.
I didn't start this to shake chips from my shoulder nor to dig up old emnities. It is purely to illustrate a point. Though I have grown to detest the indulgence in food we have. It seems that, as the moments of hunger become so tiny in modern Britain these precious moments are increasingly fought over. Seldom a day goes by without some celebrity chef appearing on the telly or jumping out of your weekend paper fighting for your attention with increasingly ridiculous concoction. Old Etonion Hugh Fearnley Wittingstall began a series last week on vegetarianism. His mindwashed slave chef was ordered to put more vege dishes on the menu 'whenever he wanted' as soon as possible. The poor man said in a beaten down manner that it was good for him as it would help him to break down his misconcepttions. He spoke as a slave might about how he valued his daily beatings as they made him a better slave.
Skreeworld hopes to launch our first celebrity washer up. He is on the cover of this weekends Observer 'Washing up' supplement. There is also a feature comparing super market brands of washing up liquid with the well known Fairy liquid. Rubber gloves are on cheep offer if you collect the free voucher on the back page. There was a day when Fanny Craddock jousted with the Gallopping Gourmet for food slots, now an army of TV cooks abound. Our celeb crock scrubber Armitage 'Vialeda' Johnson has washed up for some of the most well known chefs from Jamie Oliver to Marco Pierre White. It is only a matter of time before he will be joined by the innevitable copy cats, indeed he has an apprentice who worked under him in many Mitchelin Starred establishments. Together they are looking in to a Saturday night TV slot to find Britains newest washing up talent. The excitement is huge.