Appointments

The capacity to sabotage myself is a theme of my life. Whether it is because I feel I don't deserve success or something else. Appointments trouble me. They feel like traps. Or gaol. Last week I promised a delivery effectively setting myself a deadline. My subconscious has worked overtime on my downfall. It has done everything it can to trip me up. Nothing is more likely to stop me being there is a date. How can I guarantee that I will feel ebullient on the date of a set party. Or sociable on christmas day? This idea runs counter to all spontaneity, oppositional to all I know about humanity.