Manic Depresssion

as a description of the condition, manic depression is more expressive than the sadly banal bipolar. A manic state begins as a high, a stream of creative and fascinating ideas, many of genius quality overwhelms the subject. It is almost a religious experience and I havr read of respected professors floating around exploring space and solar clusters. Ones intelligence becomes acute. It is pleasurable. To a point. Usually I am unaware I am anything but on a roll, or in the zone. But once communication with fellow human being becomes impossible as they can't keep up, it isn't long before you must qualify as mad.. Powerful stimulants at high dose mirror the condition. The world does not understand, it isn't me. Misguided jokes, inappropriate offers to relative strangers, excessive giving, ignorance for others condition. No harm is meant for early phase maniacs are so good one encourages them. Once recognised one must reign it in. The deeper the hyper intense intelectual state, the deeper the depression on the way.
Lower level MD can operate in society. Higher levels and one stands out. Overly long descriptive rants. Overly me centric reality makes ones closest support actors whose purpose is how they relate to your view.
My re ent manic caused Internet offence and confusion. A mad falling in love with a stranger I don't really know. I hope I can salvage freindship from my unasked for soul baring. The aftermath is strewn with chance meetings with people you can not recall but may have used as support.
We all have physical health and mental health and are all I'll from time to time. This conception of mental health omits the psychotics. As OCD and hoarding become medicalised and named, drug companies gain fresh markets. The truth is their is no drugs of the mind that can claim a true scientific realism. Most are less than placebo scores in tests. Until consiousness is understood a real mental health science will not develope. The delusion of knowledge among psychiatrists I see astounds. Far less able than Shamen with the treatment of illnesses of the soul. Each few years fresh styles appear in fashion. 1985 Freudian analysis and a real belief that talking could rearrange matter, the neuronal mis shapes. 1999 I was re admitted and all this was scoffed at. Freud and his sex, pah! Now it was all Prozac, lustral, seroxat, SSRis, tablets that prevented chemical messengers being retaken in by synapses from whence they came. Unable to lock on to receptors on the pad aimed for they floated about. It was hoped, given no home ticket they would be forced across. Few neurotransmitters were then known. Serotonin was worshipped as happiness in chemical form. Almost identical in structure to the lysergics, companies vied for the growing armies of depressives our society seems to be creating. Exercise. Digital communication. Diet, all play a part. The growth in smart phones and tablets directly mirrors the rising number taking these tablets no one yet understands. They seldom work. Are we right to assume happiness is a given right? Earlier generations got by. As the Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder Diagnosis includes more each year, drug companies gain fresh markets. Shyness entered a year or two back and a cure popped up to buy for it.
I have had interaction with NHS mental health teams of various types since school. I am mad. It is comforting to believe there is a sanctuary. Until you enter one. Under the current government cuts, the dieing, the seriously mentally disturbed, cancer victims, liver and organ failing folk all mix under a roof where we stick all the oddities that baffle science. A genuine return to Victorian asylum methods. A suicide attempt ensures section ing for at least a month. You may meet a psychiatrist who takes a few notes, prescribes some snake oil tablets twice before release.
It is only this century any real attempt to integrate emotions into consiousness studies of all varieties has even taken baby steps. Twentieth century attempts to figure cognition deemed emotions too slippery. Even atheist psychiatrists did not fully accept the chemical biology of emotion. Falling in love feels beyond a chemical reaction. Even acceptance of an emotional reactivity preceding cognitive decision making, a process we all experience each day was ignored. Daniel Khandemans division of thinking fast and slow finds an audience where Antonio Damasio and his somatic marker hypothesis is obviously less of a metaphor and more a real attempt to work out how we think. A child could observe cognitive processing is too slow when the lion leaps for you. Other animals operate with little or no cognitive capacities. If a swallow had to reason through his fly feeding his hunger would kill him. Serotonin is found in even the most primitive organisms. We are in the 200s of known neurotransmitters now. But this serotonin in primitive organisms suggests even amoeba work on what feels best. Trust your gut feelings. All other animals do. My dog looks at me in pity as I float about in time, worrying over future bills and passed inconsiderences. He's doing it now. He says there is only now, come join me, you will be happier, or at least not outside of your activity. We go walk now.
Upset by a new freind and her accusations of promiscuity I have not slept. Four hours in three nights. My mind is entering altered consiousness.