Wednesday 1 April 2015

on ones nature handed out by random selection

Mythology surrounding addiction grew in the 20th century. From the blocking of childhood trauma to Russell Brands twelve stepping totalitarianism stance that 10% of people are special. That most take drugs recreationally but never catch a habit. Some truths lie behind all myths but the prevalent view that a person must be rehabilitated, broken down and rebuilt, is fine for types like Brand who became addicts through peer pressure. The new peers of AA meetings replacing those from whome he previously sought approval. The man stands up, each night, reliant on public approval for confirmation of the rightness of purpose he requires.
Personally, I have never been that steered by crowd approval. I was always quite happy to take drugs alone. Never needing to be egged on. In my youth, perhaps when escaping cannabis, there were times I partook against my better judgement but not in thirty years. Curiosity, adventure, desire to see new worlds or this world in new ways. Enjoyment, deep pleasure and guilt free fulfilment. Admit this truth and rehabs turn you away as still in denial, not ready to face the truth. My reasons for stopping aren't that I am a victim, trapped. I chose my path and wholeheartedly enjoyed the adventure. My reason is that taking opiates for so long has closed off perception. My emotional reactivity has withered. I want to feel things. I have total respect for heroin addicts so long as they're noy out stealing or hurting others. It's there right and privilege, a valid and equally moral way to live as the straight head.
There is one truth that AA have that is recognising ones drug use has got beyond ones control. That free will is gone. That you are and addict. Just a dictionary definition, but an acceptance of that. Listening to people disgusted, disappointed or whatever superiority myth they view down from, to me seem utter idiots. If a person has no control then blaming the person renders these types mere fools. These are the types who blame the depressed for being depressed. Blame schizophrenics for acting weird. Low intelligence and a belief that their fortune is down to their acumen rather than luck. This type rarely believe the fortune of their birth, it's connections and their modest intelect have by far the greater play in their fortune. Yet paper after paper from psychologists and sociologists confirm this truth, these folk know more than those who study such issues in depth.
The addict may be blamed no more than a car crash victim who chose, so selfishly to drive, the rock climber who chose adventure, or even the cancer victim whose bad hand dealt from the gene pool as exactly parallel to the random nature we are all dealt. I have no pride in the fact I avoid gambling, murdering children, raping horses or whatever perverse drive unfortunate individuals wrestle with as gifts from God each day. Those who battle these drives successfully are the silent heroes. Succumbing to ones base nature is only as ignoble as succumbing to ones hadr working nature. Moral stigmas moral superiority is really for the utterly stupid. The real fools. The moronic amongst humanity.

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