Saturday 30 August 2014

A much briefer version of the NDE

A gramme and three quarters of methoxphenidine with a load of etizolam and morphine tablets should kill a man. But it just caused a whole load of fuss for everyone around me and I'm sorry. First question is usually, "why did you try to end your life" . The answer involves financial debt but the main thing I had been clean of all drugs and alcohol for a few years and somehow I found myself an addict again and I was so angry I could have killed myself. A freind sent me two particularly large and high quality rocks through the post to me. The morning they arrived I was heading for London to do the final touches to some work there. But I am an addict. Whether using or not. So I had a smoke. When I came home at 9oclock at night people were piping up and I was back on.
Crack gives you the shakes so most users take heroin too. I was determined to never have a heroin habit again. It had been 15 years since I had had a heroin habit and I wasn't going back there. So I made the same stupid mistake as last time. I took benzos to chill me out instead. Last time I used to score them from a traveller site but these lot were now in jail. They had been collectively kicking heroin habits using the Valium and booze to soften the blow. A fight broke out. Lenny got axed over the head. It was a right old mess. They thought he was dead so went and dug a shallow grave. One of the group then strangled him to finish him off. They then carelessly burnt and buried the body. Police were round next day. DNA everywhere. No one would take full responsibility so through joint enterprise two innocent and one guilty are in jail.
The research chemical scene has grown with many Internet vendors selling a variety of products. Some are dissociatives, some hallucinogens, and some are benzos. When benzodiazepines were discovered literally hundreds were found. So many they weren't all registered. Several are available very cheaply available through research chemical suppliers. Diclazepam, flubromazepam, pyrazolam and a few more. Most popular of these is etizolam.erhaps because proper trials have been runon the drug and it is sold in chemists under prescription in Japan and India. Personally I prefer it to the British equivalent diazepam.. Anyway, I developed a habit for these too.
Disgusted with myself for requiring a crack habit I attempted to take my own life. This resulted in being unable to walk for four days, pissing myself, couldnt talk for a week other than gubbage hallucinations continually for three weeks, complete psychosis. Months on I am still not right.
The one good thing it did achieve was it blew the crack habit to smithereens. Unfortunately I am left with a benzo habit which I a, working slowly away at.

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